Show you how I feel
by Diabolo Framboise
Summary: Toby wishes that Happy could be more demonstrative with him. Happy cares about him enough to give it a try. Fluff
**A fluffy one shot because who doesn't need fluff after that finale?!**

 **Thanks to scorpion-life who helped with the grammar and provided a title**

* * *

It started on a day they were seated side by side on the beach, quietly enjoying the warmth of the sun after a particularly rough week. Happy noticed that Toby's eyes were fixed on a couple nearby. They were wrapped in each other arms, laughing together like they were all alone in the world. The guy pressed a kiss to his girlfriend's cheek and she smiled widely, looping her arms behind his neck to kiss him back. Toby had an inscrutable look on his face while observing them and Happy nudged his shoulder with hers.

"What is it, Doc?" she asked curiously.

Toby shrugged and shook his head.

"Nothing," he answered with a smile, making Happy frown. Toby was not one to ignore an occasion to talk abundantly, so his reservation was unusual.

"Come on," she insisted. "You seem bothered, what is it?"

Toby shrugged again and glanced at the couple once more.

"Sometimes I'd like for us to be that open and carefree with each other," he admitted in a low voice. "I know that you're not comfortable with displays of affection and it's something I perfectly understand, but sometimes I wish you could be a little more expressive, more out there with your affection."

Happy stayed silent for a while, slightly taken aback by his answer. She didn't expect that at all. It was a fact that she was far from being a demonstrative person, but she has never thought it bothered Toby.

"I am when we're alone," she finally offered softly.

Toby started to draw random patterns in the sand with his finger.

"Not that much actually," he whispered. "I'm usually the one who initiates contact."

Happy opened her mouth in protest but Toby cut her off.

"I'm not talking about sex here, Happy. I'm talking about intimacy. Cuddles, kisses, holding hands. Those sort of things."

Happy closed her mouth, once more disconcerted. She had never thought about this. She knew they weren't like most couples, holding hands or being cheesy with each other but she had always thought it was a mutual choice. For the first time, it occurred to her that Toby was acting like this to please her, not because he wanted to. She racked her brain to find something to say, but words failed her.

Toby smiled and stood to his feet.

"Don't worry about this, it's nothing," he said gently. "I love you and I'm happy with you, that's all that matters. I would never want to make you do something you aren't comfortable with."

Toby extended his hand to help her to her feet and released it as soon as she was up. He started to walk, babbling about anything and everything like he always did.

He seemed perfectly content but Happy remained silent for a while, uncomfortably aware that he had dropped her hand immediately after helping her up. Would he have liked to keep it in his while they walked? For the first time since they were together, she wondered how much he was restraining himself when he was with her.

* * *

This conversation occupied most of Happy's thoughts the following days. Toby was perfectly normal with her, making up cheesy nicknames for her every two hours and goofing around, but a feeling of uneasiness had settled over her. She knew he wouldn't have mentioned it if it wasn't important to him. And he had a point. Even with her low EQ, Happy could grasp the importance of giving tangible proof of affection to someone you really care about.

To be honest, it would bother her if Toby wasn't affectionate with her. Sure, she chastised him most of the time when he was stealing a kiss or a hug, but it was only a front. She loved it when he did that. It made her feel loved and important. A warm bubble of contentment and happiness coursed through her every time he showed her how much he loved her. And now he had made her aware that she was failing to make him feel the same way. Happy hated that thought. He deserved for her to make him feel as happy as he made her feel, even if she had to step out of her comfort zone to do it.

* * *

She was thinking about it while they were watching a movie on Toby's couch. They were close to each other, thighs pressed together, but Toby didn't have his arm around her shoulders like he usually did. Happy stole a quick glance at him, before leaning up against his side, pillowing her head on his shoulder, and extending her legs on his lap. Toby immediately wrapped an arm around her and she snuggled tentatively into him. She gradually relaxed into his embrace, enjoying the feeling of safety and comfort it was providing her. Happy had to admit that watching TV this way was kind of nice.

* * *

She was thinking about it when they were standing on the street waiting for the team to pick them up. Toby was standing next to her as usual, close, but not touching; respecting her space. Without looking at him, Happy slipped her hand in his, leaning closer to him to press their arms together. Toby quickly turned his head to look at her and she smiled at him softly. Smiling back widely, he raised her hand to his lips to press a kiss to the back of it and tightened his grip around her fingers. Happy didn't take her hand back when the team arrived.

* * *

She was thinking about it when Toby was cooking for them. Cooking was an exaggeration for what he was doing, but he was busy in the kitchen. Happy walked silently up to him and slid her arms around his middle from behind, leaning her head against his back. She couldn't see his face but she could tell he was grinning. Toby slowly turned into the circle of her arms to face her and looped his arms around her, gently kissing the top of her head. Happy leaned her whole weight against him and didn't even try to hide her contented sigh.

* * *

She was thinking about it when they were in her bed. Happy liked to have some space at night, or at least she thought she did. But after spending the whole evening curled against Toby on the couch she felt uncomfortable being on one side of the bed while he was on the other after all. It made her feel cold and lonely. S he quietly slid next to Toby and snuggled against his back, extending an arm around his torso to bring him closer. Toby took her hand, pressed a kiss on it and kept it wrapped in his, lovingly muttering her name along with soft endearments. Happy inhaled deeply, comforted by the familiar scent emanating from him. She kissed his shoulder blade and closed her eyes, lulled to sleep by his regular breathing. She slept more peacefully that night than she ever had before.

* * *

She was thinking about it while watching Toby sleep. Happy wasn't good at staying in bed when she was awake and she always woke up earlier than him. Toby couldn't remember a time when he had woke up and she was there. But today her head was using his chest as a pillow when he opened his eyes and her arm was resting on his hip. When he started to move, Happy turned her head and kissed his torso. Toby wrapped his arms around her as she burrowed her head into his neck, peppering it with soft kisses. Toby mumbled soft sayings in her ear and Happy thought that waking up together was actually very pleasurable.

* * *

She was thinking about it while she was watching Toby play a game with Ralph at the garage a couple months after their conversation at the beach.

At the beginning, Happy had to step out of her comfort zone to try and be more affectionate with Toby. It wasn't in her nature to show how she felt, but she needed him to know how much she cared about him. She needed to make him as happy as he was making her. But now, it occurred to her that it had become instinctive. Reaching for his hand when he was next to her. Giving him a quick peck on the lips when he was close. Snuggling into his side when they were seated side by side.

Happy loved doing all those things. Not only because it was making her feel loved and safe, but also because of the expression on Toby's face every time she was being affectionate with him. The palpable joy illuminating his features every time she was being demonstrative was making her melt. Seeing him so obviously happy and knowing it was her doing was overwhelming.

There was only one thing left to do. One thing Happy had dreaded for a long time, but now she really couldn't remember why. It was so obvious. It was so easy. Happy walked to Toby who was now at his desk and gently tugged on his hand, motioning him to follow her. She led him to the roof and before he could ask what was happening, Happy took his face in her hands and kissed him briefly but tenderly. She smiled at him, pressing her forehead against his.

"I love you," she whispered.

The raw happiness that illuminated his face knocked the breath out of her lungs. In this very moment, Happy knew she would do anything to see this expression on his face over and over again.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think, it always put a smile on my face to have feedback :-)**


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